Bless the Lord , O my soul,
and all that is within me,
bless his holy name!
Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits,
who forgives all your iniquity,
who heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit,
who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
who satisfies you with good
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
I will try my best not to be brought to tears as I sit in Barnes and Noble, drinking my carmel macchiato, writing this post. I first started meditating on this passage back in September. The month David and I flew to San Diego. The month I sat at Jo’s side. The month I said good-bye to my mother-in-law. And I struggled to understand how the Lord heals all diseases?
I have yet to write in any sort of detail about this month, about this time. I’m not sure how my emotions will be expressed once its written. When I first started blogging and sharing my journey about our move to the Mid-West, Jo was my biggest follower and encourager. As soon as I my first post was published, my phone ceased to buzz from her encouraging texts and transparent excitement about me documenting life. And I am so thankful I have her words saved, to cherish and remember.
It flows, it speaks of beauty and hope and God’s faithfulness, it expresses who you are and it honors David as your husband. It is such a great way to express this season of “new beginnings” even while being honest and authentic about the disappointments of the summer. I just love the balance and the honesty and refreshing-ness (word?) of it!
These words continue to encourage me in so many ways. I remember her infectious smile. Her joyful laugh. Her genuine faith. She drew people together, and connected them in a deep and intentional way. Her eyes gleamed of pride for her family. As David and I venture through Med School applications and interviews and await an acceptance letter for the second year, I can just imagine her pride and joy in her son’s persistent work this past year.
This is the first of many events in our lives where “telling Jo” will cross my mind. And each time my eyes will water with sorrow and my heart will smile with hope.
I spent the day looking at pictures from our wedding day. And remembering Jo. Time with Jo plays like a movie. I replay the conversations we had and everything she taught me in such a short amount of time. I rewind just to see her smile. And I pause, thanking God for the moments with Jo.